This past Sunday, the fam went to the Los Angeles Zoo.
Just as we entered the park, Coop fell asleep for his afternoon nap. To quote Jakob, "This is a pricey nap." 
But he perked right up as soon as he heard the loud honking of flamingos. I told him they were pink because they ate shrimp. Most of the animals were asleep. The lions looked particularly lazy. To quote Jakob, "King of the jungle, MY EYE!"
The giraffes were a real highlight of the day.
And we got to see some Red Apes. There was a mother and her baby. 
The baby ape was clinging to mom as she climbed up a rope. I read on the little 'Red Ape Info Plaque' how ape babies learn everything from their mommies.
That tugged at my heart.
Then we went to the Cheesecake Factory where Coop flirted with copious waitresses.
My father and Cooper are best friends and are having a blast. However, I know they are eagerly awaiting the arrival of Grannemarie. I can't wait until we're all here to enjoy days like this.
Love you, Mom! We'll see you soon :)
Zoo Cooper
7:42 am Ode to the Sad Skinny Gals Who Hang Out at My Starbucks
(I never share my stupid poems, but what the heck.)
I'm deconstructing an organic blueberry oat bar
Crumb by crumb
Hurray for gluten!
Each day there’s a new one of you in line
Your arms folded
Your pouty mouths covered in lip gloss
Sulky 'Pink Meringue'
All you say is, “Tall drip"
You wear plastic clips in your hair
But it’s still partially in your face
When you go to sit down, you slouch
I slouch because of my DD’s
What’s your excuse?
Maybe it’s the chairs
They DO encourage slouching
You all wear the same low-rise jeans
Not quite black, not quite blue
Denim oil slick
Paired with the same fashionably faded, tattered sweatshirts
Ranging in color from sage to slate to camel
What’s that you’re listening to on your ipod?
Bright Eyes?
Interpol?
Or are you more folky?
Oh, I get it. Ryan Adams.
You take out a journal with a pink skull stitched on the cover
You probably made it yourself
“Hand crafted” is the new black
So...
Why are you so sad?
Your bag matches your shoes
You don’t have cellulite
You have clear pores
You buy a cup of coffee that costs $1.55 every day
You can’t be sweating it that much
I think one of these days
I’m going to say “hi,” to you
All of you
It’ll be a pleasant greeting
Delivered in an ebullient manner
I wonder what will happen
I wonder
Will you say “hey,” or “hello”?
Or will you just look at me like I’m hideous
Like something the grave rejected in disgust
I hope you nod your head and smile
Because if a girl like me
Who doesn’t have an ipod
Or a pretty nose
Or a cute butt
Can find a reason to grin
Before 8 in the morning
Than I challenge you to, too.
The Burbank Redemption
"I'm innocent I tell ya!!!"
"I wanna see the warden!"
"ATTICA! ATTICA!"
Cooper the Kid.
Mommy's little outlaw. 
Here he is in "Mid-Raspberry."
He's a rebel without a nap.
9 Months
A thousand pardons for the recent lack of bloggings. My beautiful IMac decided to take this time to poop out on me. It's at the Apple Store as we speak. I feel like I'm missing a limb without it. Let's hope it only needs minor surgery. I'm posting from my husband's computer. 
Today Cooper turned 9 months old! Yes. That's right. 9 MONTHS!! He's been outside of me just as long as he was inside of me. We celebrated the day with...(drum roll please!)Grampa Joe! 
My father arrived in California this week. Cooper was a little unsure about this loveable giant, but now they are inseparable. We took a trip down to Island Burger for some tropical eats and drinkies, then we headed off to the beach.
My dad has decided to go by, "Pepere," (pronounced "Pep - Ay") since it's easier to say and he wants to be the very next word that Cooper utters. Palm trees, sunshine and the sweetest little boy in the whole world.
I have to say, it was a good day.
For more new photos, Click here to visit Flickr.
Found Art
As I waited in the '10 items or less' express line, I spotted this grocery list nestled among the tabloids.
I picked it up and showed it to Jakob.
"Look," I said smiling, "She got ice cream AND cake! She IS the world's greatest mom."
"And she got grapes," he laughed back, "To feed to her husband, so she's the world's greatest wife, too."
Sometimes my husband is suck a dink.
Roasted
Last weekend we roasted Jakob for his 30th birthday. Sorry I haven't posted until now. I was still recovering from all the "drunk" jokes thrown my way. That, and I was hung-over.
I made little party hats with Jakob's wide-eyed face on them. They were a hit. 
I also made paper beards on sticks as party favors. Here's my friend Giza re-enacting the Brittany Spears crotch shot:
We had a banner and a cake that said, "Happy Birthday Jackass." This prompted the restaurant hostess to ask, "The guy knows it's a roast, right?" "Oh, yes," I said, "He wants us to make fun of him. It's his birthday gift!"
Ryan Gantz started the evening off right, followed by Chris Dorff, Edy Kowalska, Alex Bakalarz, Karen Stein, Lizzy Cooperman and Andrew Wollman. Everybody rocked the show. 
Some of my fave jokes...
"If I had a nickel for every time Nicole interrupted Jakob...I'd buy a gun and shoot myself in the head." -Ryan Gantz
"Nicole's such an alcoholic that she lactates White Russians." - Chris Dorff
"I know Jakob works in ethics and with computers, but I've never been sure what the heck he does. I just know that it has nothing to do with fantasy football because he sucks at that!" - Edy Kowalska
"Long ago in a galaxy far, far away...I just said that to see Wollman get a chubby during the roast." - Alex Bakalarz
"There are only 4 Jews here including me? What kind of a roast is this?" -Karen Stein
"I never knew conversations had intermissions until I met Jakob." - Lizzy Cooperman
"Did Nicole and Jakob know they named their kid after a fragrance...C.K. White." - Andrew Wollman
"When Jakob was younger, thinner and had no facial hair, we used to do romantic roleplaying like, "Doctor and Nurse," or " Casting Director and Actress." Now with his growing gut and the beard, our bedroom games have names like, "Drunken Carnival Worker" and "Amber Alert". - Nicole Charbonneau White (That's one of my 'tame' jokes.)
"Edy and Alex are engaged, so we’ll see a Polish Blonde get married to a Colombian Jew and hopefully one day, give birth, to...a punchline." -Jakob White
Jakob's counter-roast was spectacular. At the end of the night he thanked me for giving him the perfect birthday present: a drunk, happy, warmed-up crowd to perform for and succeed in front of. 
I'm glad you had a good time, Jakob. You're my favorite. You still make me laugh.
For even more photos, click here to visit Flickr.
Photo Boothin'
Coop wanted to see what a photo booth was all about. We had fun. I asked him later, "Cooper, how come you never looked at the camera?" He responded with a furrowed brow expression that seemed to say, "Oh, mother. That would have been tres obvious." I just might be raising an art snob.
We are bursting with anticipation. Grampa Joe is coming!!! Grampa Joe is coming!!! We are getting the home and car ready for his arrival. I've been trying to teach Coop to say 'Grampa' or 'Joe,' but all he wants to do is say, "RA RA RA RA RA RA." I guess he's too excited.
My Funny Valentines
How do I love thee, let me count the ways. 
You are both devistatingly handsome. 
You both have eyes of the bluest skies. 
You both make funny faces. 
You are a natural comedy team. I love the, "Watch Me Rip Off Daddy's Nose," bit. Brilliant. Always makes me laugh. 
You both have adorable bellies. 
You both put up with mommy. 
You are my family. 
And I love you more than anything. Happy Valentines Day.
8 Months
Where did my baby go? Who is this big boy sitting in his highchair?
Cooper, you are a GIANT! You ride forward in the stroller now. Congrats! Facing forward makes facing backward look like a snoozer Yawn Fest. Forward is where it's at!
Your HUGE feet dangle at the front of the carriage. As we walk about town, you swing and kick your legs. You tap your ankles together. I think you are playing a foot game. Perhaps you have started seeing your feet differently. You realize that though they may be tasty, they have another purpose--moving you around. 
You say "Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma." You don't like to do it on command. You do it on your own time. Usually in the early morning when you first wake up. Or when we try to get you to say, "Da da." You also screech like a banshee, but not because you are unhappy. Your shrill 'barbaric yawp' is full of excitement and bliss. It sounds like a Velociraptor. You kinda freak people out when you do it in IKEA. They think you are going to blow up or something. Then they see you smile and it makes them smile, too. 
You have TWO TEETH! Chomper grew a friend. We've named him Chewie. 
You like Biter Biscuits. You drink from a sippy cup. You don't like to sit up while you drink. You still want to lie down on the floor. You like to recline while you satisfy your thirst, like a gluttonous little Roman. It's adorable.
You crawl. At first it was a strange scuttle where only one arm moved. This resulted in a hilarious forward shimmy-lunge-fall that you repeated over and over again to get to your destination. Now, all the moves are there. The hands work in conjunction with the knees and you ZOOM. And each time, right before you take off, you get on all fours and rock back and forth making a "Rararararaaaa," sound. It's like you're stating up your engine. 
You are my boy. I am so proud of you. I never knew I could feel this much love.
Our Daily 10 to Noon
Cooper and I go out walking every morning from 10 o'clock to lunchtime. Sometimes we go to the park. Sometimes we go to the mall. Sometimes we encounter strange and wonderful things. 
One day, the little old Russian lady who lives in our building blessed Cooper. She was repeating something in Russian over and over again and making the sign of the cross on his stroller. She had a big smile on her face. It was hard to understand her prayer, but I believe I heard the word, "miracle." 
On another day, a woman in the super market tried to take Cooper's binky out of his mouth! She was dressed all in peach and her hair was thinning. She looked like she had not smiled in decades. She leaned over and said, "Tell your mommy you don't need that silly thing!" and she attempted to yank it from his lips. Cooper gave her a distressed look and put his hand up to block her. "Did you see that??," she said, "HE SWATTED MY HAND." I kindly told her that he doesn't like strangers taking things away from him because that's MOM's job! She walked away with her panty hose all in a bunch muttering something about orthodontist bills. Witch! 
On yet another day, we were approached by a homeless while sitting at a ridiculously overpriced, monopolizing coffee shop, which I won't name. (Let's just call it 'Blahbucks.') Cooper has a very keen sense of smell and when the man came up to our table, Coop made a disapproving face as if to say, "I know I didn't poo. What's the stink?" The man asked for some change. He had a sweet face. I gave him a quarter. It really was all I had. He then looked at Coop and said, "You got any change, little man?" Coop looked at him and started crying. The guy chuckled and said, "That's ok. Sometime I look at me and it make me cry, too."
(These photos were taken by Edy Kowalska. Thanks, Edy!)