I believe this picture sums it all up:
That's what beaming with joy looks like.
Cooper's birthday party was a spectacular event in Laguna Beach featuring all of Coop's favorite things. 
Swimming, bubbles, music, balloons, food, handy dandy notebooks, grab bags, goofy adults AND A PINATA!
Actually, Cooper had no interest in the pinata. He ignored it and then when we broke it open to show him the "awesome pinata fun", he just sort of had this look like, "why are mini-candies and cheap plastic toys falling on me...what is this odd game, lady?"
The day also included another fave thing...flirting with cute gals. 
I made a Blue's Clue's cake. FYI--Funfetti is officially my new cake of choice in case you're keeping track. 
Thanks Poyant Family for the Celtics shirt. Now that we've won the championship, it's his lucky shirt! And thanks Tagues for the snazzy sweatshirts!
Thank you to Great Grandma Marie for The Tawny Scrawny Lion book. And a great big kiss, hug and thank you to MiMi, Grampy, Uncles Scott & Jordan. When Cooper opened his Red Sox book he saw Fenway Park and said, "WOW!"
By the end of the day, he was dizzy with party glee. 
The weekend had a certain Cape Cod vibe. It made me think back to my summers in Falmouth when we'd swim all day and then stay up all night and play games. 
Of course, if my parents plan a party, it's always fun. The Charbs know fun. Thanks mom and dad for making last weekend a success. My kid already has some pretty amazing memories thanks to you. And now that you got him Tee Ball, maybe he'll have a killer swing, too.
How can we possibly continue to top ourselves? We went from Muppets in the park to a beachside inn. What will it be next year? Barney the purple dinosaur drives us all on a bus filled with cookies to Sea World?
Actually, that sounds like good times.
Laguna Beach Bash
Holy Crackers, You're Two!
Dear Cooper,
Two years ago today I held you for the first time. You looked up at me with big eyes as if to say, "You're my mom...I'm hungry, by the way."
You'll always be my baby, but you are so NOT a baby anymore. You are a little boy.
You climb EVERYTHING.
You say your letters and numbers.
You do the big slides at the playground.
You sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."
You whisper secrets.
You call crackers "ca ca" and your binky a "dinky."
You've fallen madly in love with your yellow blanket and bubbles.
You say "Gonzo" and "Kermit" and you make those particular plush toys kiss each other.
You say "It's stuck," when you try to open things that I've baby-proofed.
You count to ten and say, "Ready or not, here I come!"
You can pat your head and rub your tummy. 
You draw, write and paint.
Sometimes you randomly start naming fruits...apple, nana, orinch.
You know many animals sounds and you perform them with true commitment. Your MOOOO for the cow always has gusto. Your kitty cat meow is so delicate. Your frog ribbit is enthusiastic. But my fave is the monkey..."Ooo Ah, Ooo Ah!" 
I'm proud of you. I'm honored to be your mother.
I can't believe how quickly the time has gone by.
Someday you'll be a man. From what I've already learned from you in these past two years, I can tell you'll be a great man.
I love you, Cooper. Happy, happy birthday.
-Your Mommy
Everybody Hurts
Dear Cooper,
It seems that Daddy's business trip to India just happen to coincide with your full-throttle launch into the "terrific" two's.
We've had some major meltdowns the past couple of days and I want you to know that I'm not mad.
The incident in the park with the bubbles was just as heartbreaking for me as it was for you.
Those kids had brought buckets of bubbles. I know you've never seen so many bubbles before and that must have been a bit over-stimulating. And those kids were older and not playing very nice. They didn't understand that you were just a baby. And you did start pouring all the bubbles onto your chest and that was not a popular decision amongst the crowd of 7 and 8 year olds. I felt it was time to leave the bubble area. I tried to explain that we'd play somewhere else and all would be ok, but you just kept crying out in agony..."BUBBLE! BUBBLE! BAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOL!"
After snack, you felt better.
I hope I'm not turning you into an emotional eater. Mommy tends to get over grief with treats. It's not the best way to deal with your problems...but sometimes you just need treats to get through. 
We watched Beakman's World this morning. It was about how things float (density and displacement). You really like "Phoebe." You always like the girls.
I know you are struggling with trying to be a good boy. I can tell what a great heart you have. You want to be friendly. You want to be good. And you're trying to figure this whole language thing out. It's frustrating. Honestly, I still have a hard time trying to say exactly what I mean.
And this time with Daddy being gone...I'm not gonna lie. It stinks. It stinks like poopy. But it'll be over soon. He'll be back and it'll get better. I promise.
I'll do all I can do to make sure your two's are not terrible.
I love you, Coop.
-Mom
UPDATE!
He's staying at the RAMADA, not the Marriott.
That's a horse of a different color.
But HIP HIP HURRAY there' a BUFFET!
Burbank to Mumbai
My husband flies to India on Sunday.
He'll be staying at the Mumbai Marriott of JuHu Beach.
Holy Vishnu! It's a paradise! I'm wicked jealous.
If you take the hotel's website photo tour you can see all the super fancy stuff this place has to offer. (And the picture of the entrance makes it look like you get a free, high-class courtesan upon check-in.)
I wonder if Jakob will get a Ayurvedic Massage or visit the Enigma Lounge.
The only definite plan he's shared with me is waking up at 5:30am to watch the Celtics game.
I'm going to miss him so much.
It's hard to be away from the one you love.
Coffee Conspiracy
8 varieties of coffee are offered at work and they all taste the same.
Is this 'Colombian Supremo'?
Nope.
It's 'Lake and Lodge Blend.'
I bet it's the same coffee with different labels on it to give us the illusion of choice.
What's Coop's Favorite Food?
Video killed the radio star...but it's done wonders for the blog!
I'll set up this clip by saying Coop just finished a banana and he's looking for that extra little "something" to finish off the meal.
It's Just a Ride.
The Barnstable County Fair had a ride called THE GRAVITRON. It was just a big room shaped like a space ship that spun around real fast. I always wanted to go on that ride and it always made me nauseous.
I feel like I've eaten a pound of fried dough and cotton candy and I'm stuck on an ever-spinning ride run by some carnie who refuses to let me off even though I keep screaming, "I feel sick! I need to get off! I don't feel well."
And he laughs and says, "You wanted a ride!"
But I'm done riding. I want a nap.
I keep working, doing, trying for my family. For my husband. For my Cooper. 
I don't want to let them down.
But I'm dizzy.
Feelin' Bloggy?
My life is hectic right now.
I have way too many pies in the oven.
But, if you've come here looking to read about my family and you're sick of my inconsistent posting, then check these bloggy blogs:
If you need more California and Cooper, visit my mom's blog:
RiRi-FIIF
If you want to see what my preggo sis is up to:
Fletchonneaus!
If you want to know who these "Tague" people are who always comment:
Taguelines
If you want to delve into the capricious brain of Andrew Wollman:
Awol
And if you want to read about my friend Jessica Trimble and her adventures in nursing:
Paging Dr. Nurse
And here's a fave of mine, Dave Lowe's cartoon blog:
ParaAbnormal!
More from me soon...well, not so sure "soon" is the right word.
More from me at some point...guaranteed!
A Waste of Cake and Paper?
Happy Birthday, Mr. White.
You told me this year that you didn't want a party because it would be (to quote Patton Oswalt) "a waste of cake and paper."
But Coop insisted on making his Daddy a birthday card. 
Since this was gift art, Coop wanted to move beyond crayons to something with more of an archival quality. 
I busted out the watercolors. Coop wanted to use every brush and dip into multiple colors. His technique is very progressive. 
"Mom! I'm creating art right now! Could you stop it with the photos? You're distracting me."
Here's the finished piece:
Untitled watercolor by Cooper Kingsley White 2/23/08
I think his work is very sensitive. AND he spelled 'Birthday' right! Pretty good.
A great card, an Apple product and breakfast at Big Boy. 
Happy birthday.
Valentine
Remember that time when we talked all night long?
We were shocked to hear birds chirping
A sneaky dawn had arrived
And we kept laughing
Remember that time when you picked me a flower?
You stole it from Beacon Street
Placed it in my hand and said, "It matches your dress."
And we kept walking
Remember that summer on the Cape?
You worked the deli at Star Market
We danced and drank cheap beer
And we kept watching the ocean
Remember that time we didn't talk?
I hated it.
Remember that time we got married and had a baby?
I loved it.
Remember that Valentine's Day when I wrote a piss poor poem-like-thing for you?
We were too broke for gifts
We were too busy to go out
And we kept loving each other anyway.
Play D'oh!
Last week I started my month long stretch in studio. Then, I was abruptly laid off. Then I was suddenly re-hired and now I'm out of a job again.
Weirdest week ever.
Now I'm back to being a full time mommy. It was time to intro (drum roll, please) Playdough.
Coop started by trying to eat it. Of course.
Then, he really got into it. He really liked squishing the colors together and then ripping them apart again. He also enjoyed jamming the colors back into the correct container. He likes sorting and filing and putting things away. Future artist/musician/athlete/administrator.
I like his take on Edvard Munch's THE SCREAM. Nice.
The Story
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true
I was made for you
I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
Yeah you do
And I was made for you
You see the smile that's on my mouth
Is hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what I've been through like you do
And I was made for you...
-Brandi Carlile
The Artist's Way
I've started a 12-week program called, The Artist's Way.
The book encourages artists to stop judging the art they make and embrace the creative spirit that is alive and at work in all of us. The exercises are supposed to help blocked, stifled and depressed artist find their path. Sure it sounds new-agey, but belittling a method that could possibly aid me as an artist is just fear and self-sabotage, right?
My first assignment is a daily one. It's called, "Morning Pages." Each day when I awake, I'm supposed to grab my notebook and write no less than 3 pages of stream of consciousness writing. No sensor. No filter. No attention paid to punctuation or spelling. No rules.
It was freeing! And it was weird. I started writing about the guy from Blues Clues. 
NO! Not that that one. That's the old dude named Steve. I like the new dude named Joe:
He just handles the material in a very believable way. My stream of conscious writing went on and on about how I prefer Joe to Steve. Oh. My. God. Please don't let me be that mom at the playground talking about which member of The Wiggles is "hot." Yeeks.
Oh...according to "The Artist's Way," I'm not actually supposed to share my stream of consciousness writing.
Am I'm already messing this up? Whatevs. I refuse to judge myself!
SEE! IT's already WORKING!!!! YAY!
Rick Moranis?
"Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"
Blue Period Hero
I wanted to decorate an old messenger bag that had been sitting in my closet. I painted my own version of one of my favorite paintings--Picasso's "The Old Guitarist."
He's sad because he can't make it through 'Knights of Cydonia' on hard.
Do Gnomes and Iconic Mexican Painters Go Together?
Last night I was crabby and goofy at the same time.
I was teasing Jakob because he requires a certain extra soft toilet tissue and I called his bum "dainty."
I don't remember his exact verbal response, but he called me an emotional nutball. (In a cute, friendly way. Not mean.)
I said, "I'm going to wear my Frida Kahlo socks because you're acting sooooo Diego Rivera right now!" (Melodramatically. Playful. Not mean, either.)
I already had my gnome pajama pants on and I started to laugh hysterically when I saw Frida and the gnomes collide.
Boat Cookie!
Last night, Jakob and I stayed up past our bedtime to make Christmas Cookies.
At first, Jakob wasn't going to eat the cookies. He was all like, "No no. I'm going to make a chicken pot pie." And I was all like, "NO! No pot pie! You HAVE to eat the cookies! Consuming the cookie is part of the whole cookie cooking & decorating event." The he was all like, "I don't need nothin'. I'm fine."
And then...I concocted a plan. I ate a cookie myself and said, "Oh, these aren't really cooked in the middle. I messed them up!" I started to pout. He tried to comfort me and say, "I'm sure they're fine." I whined, "No! They're raw. Try 'em." He ate one. "A-HA!" I shouted, "I tricked you! They are deliciously PERFECT! I tricked you into eating a cookie. Mwa ha ha ha haaaa!"
He laughed and started choking on his cookie.
After regaining the ability to breathe again, Jakob started decorating with frosting. He's quite artistic. He made fun of this cookie for being silly, but I think it's beautiful:
It's a little boat on a fierce, wintry ocean! It's a boat cookie! Mmmmmmm. Boat cookie.
Knowing is only HALF the battle...
I'm a worry wart.
I worry about things I can't possibly change.
Sometimes I worry that I'm not worrying enough.
I worry that I worry too much.
boy least likely to
have you heard these blokes?
boy least likely to
me likey lots.
if you enjoy alt rock with xylophones, cute/creepy marionettes and rashida jones (hottie!), check out their video for 'Be Gentle With Me' on You Tube.
i also like the tracks titled:
i see spiders when i close me eyes
and
i'm glad i hitched my apple wagon to your star.
The Prodigal Patrick
Last December, we traveled home to New England for the holidays. While we waited to board our plane at Burbank Airport, Jakob purchased a Patrick Star doll for Cooper.
Patrick hung out with us during all the festive Christmas and New Year activities. Then, when we returned to California, he was gone. We looked high and low. Alas, no fuzzy, pink starfish in green shorts was to be found. We purchased a second Patrick doll for Cooper to love.
Fast forward to last Friday. It was finally chilly enough for me to dig around the closet for my winter faux fur diva coat. I slipped it on and felt a strange bump in the side pocket. Oh my! PATRICK!
Now there's two Patricks!
I wonder what the past year has been like for Patrick #1. Was he stuck in that dark pocket the entire time? Was he waiting and praying that someone would find him and rescue him? Or did he sneak off and have wild adventures? Did he return merely because he ran out of money? Perhaps he's going to convince Patrick #2 to accompany him on his next journey.
To Cooper, two Patricks are better than one. He holds them both in his hands and tosses them around. Then he realizes that he likes playing with stuff that makes noise and he throws his Patricks to the ground and goes to play his piano, or his xylophone, or his Elmo Camera, or his talking Leap Frog phone, or his singing Animal Train.
Note to self (and grandparents): Cooper has PLENTY of toys.
Coop's Cousin is Due in March
Dear Danielle,
Remember when we used to call you Danielleeeee Belly? It applies now more than ever!
Congrats to you, Fletcher Fam! Are you and Owen in shock? Jakob and I still look at each other and think, "Holy Toast! Are WE parents?"
Pregnancy is...not fun. Don't let people try to convince you that you need to adore this state of gestation. Yes, there are wonderful things about being preggers. You get excited about being a mom. You feel your child grow and move within you. You feel close to your husband because your love made life and that's pretty effing cool.
But it's rough. Your body is hijacked. Everything swells. Even your eyeballs swell. You pee yourself. Usually when you laugh...which then makes you cray. It's cruel! The hormones can be like a Todd Solondz film--just too much to deal with.
I want you to know that I'm proud of you. You look so beautiful. Congrats to you and Owen. You are about to embark on one long, strange trip. It's fantastic.
It's a BOY!
Dear Little Man Swimming In My Sister's Belly,
I can't wait to meet you. In fact, I'm going to plan a trip to see you in the Spring. I'm just going to assume that you'll call me your Crazy Aunt Nicole. It's cool. I've worn that adjective well for serveral years. It's just another word for fun-loving.
Oh, and I already love you. I can't wait for Coop to have a cousin.
Keep healthy. See you soon.
Love,
N
Torture Song
Each year, I adopt a "torture song."
It's a song that I'm going to play over and over and over and over again until I'm so completely sick of it that I can never play it again.
I know. It's a sickness. I've tried to get help but...well, I'm busy and stuff.
This past year,(2007--the year that will hence forth be called, "the year that was slightly less stressful than 2006.")I was obsessed with the song 'Total Eclipse of the Heart.' And not the old school Bonnie Tyler version, which IS pure gold. Nah. I was really into the Tori Amos live from Boston 1995 rarity cover. Tori makes everything breathier and sadder.
I listened to that song most days and sometimes (once a month) I'd listen to it several times a day.
2008 is fastly approaching and I've already decided that Elton John's 'Someone Saved My Life Tonight,' is my new torture song.
It clocks in at 6 minutes and 47 seconds.
You know what that means?
Listening to it thrice a day can waste an embarrassing amount of time.
Better Than Being a Nose Picker
Cooper's latest, greatest discovery is pinching his nose so that it changes the way his voice sounds.
He's been doing this when he approaches other kids at the playground. 
This child was fascinated. He watched Cooper hold his nose and yell for nearly two full minutes.
Cooper likes to grab at other people's noses, too. He won't let go until you talk and your voice sounds funny, too.
It's pretty hilarious.
Happy Eat a Turkey Day
Honestly, this Thanksgiving was a bumpy one.
Cooper was very fussy. Jakob and I quibbled about bringing the hand-held mixer to Andrew's place. That spat turned into an argument about packing all the stuff we were bringing. That exchange turned into a fight about how we turn everything into a bigger fight. Then we stopped speaking to each other for the rest of the morning.
But we got over it. And that's what I'm thankful for. We love each other enough to endure the bumps and kiss and make nice. 
I'm thankful for my amazing family. I'm thankful for my generous, loving friends. 
Andrew Wollman's been throwing this shindig for a decade! I'm thankful that each year I've had a place to go and make merry on Thanksgiving.
Thank you.
I Miss You
I returned to work this week after a 5 month hiatus.
I was eager to get back to heading into the office, wearing heels and make-up, drinking flavored coffee and chatting with adults.
But I miss my boy like crazy during the day. I have pictures of him plastered all around my cube.
I want to be a mom and a producer and an artist and an actress and a good wife. I want to value myself.
It's a lot.
When exactly do things get less complicated?
By 40?
Welcome to Chez Mommy, May I Take Your Order?
Cooper can be picky about food. He DEFINITELY gets that from his Dad. 
Although he was once fond of them, he's no longer a fan of peas. He's starting to reject green beans, but I'm still pushing them! He won't eat ham. He hates avacado. He doesn't like maple syrup but he enjoys pancakes. 
He'll eat any cookie anytime anywhere. He likes corn, broccoli (sometimes) and carrots (sometimes). He LOVES eggs and bananas. He'll even smoosh his eggs and bananas together. Oddly enough, he likes beats, too!
Pasta, bread and potatoes are always winners. He tried a stuffed clam a while back and took to it like a true Cape Cod kid.
March to the Beat of Your Own Hurdy Gurdy
One of Coop's fave games is, "PUT LEAVES IN THE BUBBLER!!!!"
He takes every leaf off the ground (EVERY leaf) and places it into the fountain by the tennis courts. Since Coop invented this game, leaving the park has become, uh, let's just say it's more challenging...and by that I mean impossible.
Cooper runs up to other people, kids, dogs, birds (and sometimes plants) and says, "HIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" with boundless enthusiasm and volume.
He's sooooo my kid.
Most adult people think it's hysterically funny. Cooper knows how to play to a crowd. He starts performing his spirited gibberish, beating his chest and gesturing with his hands.
But the other kids on the playground tend to run away from him. They're scared. Some kids even cry when Cooper approaches them.
He's sooooo my kid.
My Son
My father took this picture of Coop playing in the fountain at Universal Studios.
He's so happy. He loves to play.
I wish I could be more like my son.