Baby Shower Extravaganza!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I mention that my friends are AMAZING?!?

This past Saturday was my 'Rockin' Baby Shower. ' It lived up to its name.

Lisa Sichi, Kate Turnipseed & Nicole Elliott-Bayes truly outdid themselves on every level. They decorated my apartment with paper lanterns, streamers & balloons. The color scheme was my favorite pallet: black, white & red. Very rock n' roll. Very White Stripes-ish. Coincidentally, I learned that black, white & red are the very first colors babies see.

Elliott (I MUST get used to "Elliott-Bayes." She's a married lady now!!!!) made the most delectable cupcakes. She went as far as to provide BOTH chocolate and vanilla selections. Pure. Cupcake. Heaven.

Turnip made this STUNNING cake. Since Jakob & I are waiting until birth to find out the sex of the baby, she made it a half boy/half girl cake and named it, "Hermmie." There was food aplenty. Instead of 'pigs in a blanket,' the partygoers were treated to 'piglets in a diaper' (a.k.a. mini-cocktail weenies wrapped in dough diapers). TOO FREAKIN' CUTE!

Sichi was the best darn Game Show Host...EVAH! We're talkin' pro. The first game was "Baby Pictionary." The clues were all song or movie titles that had to do with parenting & babies. Million Dollar Baby. Hit Me Baby One More Time. Parent Trap. Andrew Giza was victorious.

The next game was "Make Your Own Clay Baby." The contestants had five minutes to mold a clay baby. It could be at any stage they wished, be it zygote, fetus, infant or toddler.

Chantal DeGroat went with a monochromatic baby which she says is, "really fashionable in Europe." Cristine McClure made a happy baby with a white umbilical cord, green smile and pink body. Very 'Pop Art.' Matt Duersten's baby looked like it had a huge phallus, but he assured me that it was an umbilical cord. Mike Yank's baby had a yellow diaper because it peed itself.

The winner: Sue Bell! Her baby had great detail (Sure she was a bit of a ringer. She IS a Havard artist) and a cute Buddah belly. We gave an honorable mention to Asterios Kokkinos' enormous, orange, cigarette-smoking baby named 'Giganticus.'

The final game was a hoot. 'Pin the Tail on the Donkey' is lame. HOWEVER, 'Pin the Tattoo on the Baby' is RAD! Kevin Chesley took top prize here.

Sichi also made a fun (and challenging) 'Beautiful Baby Word Find' and a stellar guestbook where folks could not only guess the sex, weight & birthday of our bundle of joy, but also gives us some sound advice about raising kids. Here's a few samples:

Having been a weird kid myself once, let em' be weird.
-Andrew Giza

Having been a flatulent kid once, check before you change. Just cuz' she smells funny, doesn't mean she's dirty.
-Michael Hennessy

Having been a bratty kid once, presents solve everything.
-Karen Stein

When at the airport and immigration is giving you sh*t, pinch your baby's butt and make him cry. You'll get through much faster.
-Alex & Edy

Jakob and I are very lucky.

A GIGANTICUS THANK YOU to everyone. I was blown away by all your enormous generosity. I'll be sending specific 'thank you's' this week to each of you, but I wanted to get this post up right away and let you know how much this past weekend warmed our hearts. (And so my family back East can peek at the pix.)

I made a weepy speech on Saturday and I forgot (DOH!) to specifically thank Kate, Lisa & Nicole for all their hard work getting this shindig on its feet. I love you guys. Jakob and I are so grateful and a spectacular time was had by all. Bravissimo!

There's a lot of photos. To check 'em out, click here to visit Flickr.

Rawkin' Mohawkin

No, this is not my newborn. We still have 6 weeks to go people! This is my fashion model. Her name is Tarzana. She's named after the city in California, not "Tarzan of the Jungle." In fact, don't even bring Tarzan up to her. It's a sore subject.

Anywhoosit, Jakob purchased an adorable Superman onesie. (Which works for Supergirl, too!) I thought the look could only be complete with a knitted mohawk hat.

I took up knitting. You remember when knitting was deemed "cool" about three years ago? Well, I'm finally catching on. I really wanted to make something for my baby and it seemed like a hat would be pretty simple. I had some knitting needles and yarn buried in my craft closet. I put them into action. First, I knitted the orange cap. Then, I created a straight line of knotted dangling green & purple yarn. I fluffed it out with a hairbrush to give it a touch of spikey-punk-poofiness.


It Ain't All Gravy

Pregnancy is wonderful, except when it isn't.

I have anxiety about labor.

I went to my first Lamaze class on Monday night. I think it wigged me out. The instructor started the class by telling us to ignore all the delivery room horror stories that we've heard because every woman's experience is different. Then she spent the remainder of the class going over complications like meconium, preeclampsia, and placental abruption. It didn't help that Jakob and I were seated beneath the poster that diagramed an episiotomy.

I cry 8 times a day. I pee twice as many times as I cry.

My feet have grown a shoe size.

I feel like Violet Beauregard. I'm a colossal blueberry. I need Oompa Loompas to roll me to the Juicing Room and put me out of my misery.

I was waiting for the bus the other day and four little boys were at the bus stop. They were all about 10 years old. They were having a spitting contest. I wouldn't have cared except that they were spitting on folks waiting for the bus, like me. They were using words like, "bitch." It made me worry about being a crummy mom and having a brat for a kid.

I got up at 3:11am this morning to write an angry e-mail to the people at Target regarding my baby registry. Stuff keeps becoming "unavailable," or isn't being efficiently processed. I should've gone with 'Babies R Us.' Anyway, the clickity-clack of the computer keys awoke my sweet, kind, lovely husband. My patient, caring, attentive husband quietly got out of bed and shut the bedroom door so he could get a little shuteye. I can't tell you exactly why this sent me into a hysterical bitchy fit, but it did. I proceeded to yell at my charming, handsome, considerate husband for no good reason what-so-ever. And how does this half-awake, bewildered man respond? He coaxes me back into bed and rubs my tummy for over an hour as I whimper and eventually fuss myself to sleep. Saint Jakob.

Don't get me wrong. I'm blessed. I'm excited for this kid to pop out. But sometimes I feel like a big, whiny pod that has no control over my body or my feelings.

Whaaaaaaa. I can't even eat soft cheese! I LOVE soft cheese!!!


This is a picture of my mom and me. Look at how BRAND NEW I am. Pudgy. No neck. Squinty-eyed. My mouth is shaped like a little bell. I'm freakin' adorable!

I've been looking at this photo trying to imagine that I'll be holding my own baby in just over two months.


Jakob and I have found a song that we can both sing to my belly.
Loudon Wainwright wrote it while his wife Kate was pregnant with Rufus.
They sing it together on the album Attempted Mustache
It's called, "Dialated to Meet You."

We're wondering when you will arrive
We're wondering what you'll be
We're wondering if you'll be a 'her'
Or if you'll be a 'he'

Maybe you'll arrive today
Perhaps tomorrow night
We're hoping you won't hurt too much
And that you'll be alright.

Life has a few unpleasantries
We may as well confess
We suppose you'll cry a lot
And that you'll be a mess

There is one thing you should know well
On this there is no doubt
You cannot get inside again
Once you have come out

Even though there's trouble
Even though there's fuss
We really think you'll like it here
We hope that you like us.