The Hippo and The BumblingBee

Ready for another silly Friday poem? Here ya go.
(And, yes, it's meant to say 'BumblingBee.')

The hippo and the bumblingbee were sitting down to tea.
The hippo looked upon her friend with nervousness and glee.
She mustered up her courage to ask,” Would you think of stinging me?”

The bumblingbee then made a joke, which he would often do.
“To sting one of your tremendous girth, what damage would it do?”
His eyes were full of mischief and his grin slightly askew.

The hippo was embarrassed, but she smiled just the same.
She didn’t want the bumblingbee to talk about her shame.
She added sugar to her cup to help relieve the pain.

The bumblingbee began to brag about possessing wings.
He noticed the hippo's sadness as he said these things.
He asked, “Do you tire of our tea and the joy it brings?”

“Of course I like to see you,” said the hippo’s shy voice.
“I look forward to these times to make merry and rejoice.
But you can always fly away. You always have that choice."

The bumblingbee began to sense the mood was getting strange.
So he promptly excused himself from their awkward exchange.
The hippo watched him run away, knowing he would never change.

Zoo Cooper

This past Sunday, the fam went to the Los Angeles Zoo.

Just as we entered the park, Coop fell asleep for his afternoon nap. To quote Jakob, "This is a pricey nap."

But he perked right up as soon as he heard the loud honking of flamingos. I told him they were pink because they ate shrimp. Most of the animals were asleep. The lions looked particularly lazy. To quote Jakob, "King of the jungle, MY EYE!"

The giraffes were a real highlight of the day.

And we got to see some Red Apes. There was a mother and her baby.

The baby ape was clinging to mom as she climbed up a rope. I read on the little 'Red Ape Info Plaque' how ape babies learn everything from their mommies.

That tugged at my heart.

Then we went to the Cheesecake Factory where Coop flirted with copious waitresses.

My father and Cooper are best friends and are having a blast. However, I know they are eagerly awaiting the arrival of Grannemarie. I can't wait until we're all here to enjoy days like this.

Love you, Mom! We'll see you soon :)

7:42 am Ode to the Sad Skinny Gals Who Hang Out at My Starbucks

(I never share my stupid poems, but what the heck.)

I'm deconstructing an organic blueberry oat bar
Crumb by crumb
Hurray for gluten!
Each day there’s a new one of you in line
Your arms folded
Your pouty mouths covered in lip gloss
Sulky 'Pink Meringue'
All you say is, “Tall drip"
You wear plastic clips in your hair
But it’s still partially in your face
When you go to sit down, you slouch
I slouch because of my DD’s
What’s your excuse?
Maybe it’s the chairs
They DO encourage slouching
You all wear the same low-rise jeans
Not quite black, not quite blue
Denim oil slick
Paired with the same fashionably faded, tattered sweatshirts
Ranging in color from sage to slate to camel
What’s that you’re listening to on your ipod?
Bright Eyes?
Or are you more folky?
Oh, I get it. Ryan Adams.
You take out a journal with a pink skull stitched on the cover
You probably made it yourself
“Hand crafted” is the new black
Why are you so sad?
Your bag matches your shoes
You don’t have cellulite
You have clear pores
You buy a cup of coffee that costs $1.55 every day
You can’t be sweating it that much
I think one of these days
I’m going to say “hi,” to you
All of you
It’ll be a pleasant greeting
Delivered in an ebullient manner
I wonder what will happen
I wonder
Will you say “hey,” or “hello”?
Or will you just look at me like I’m hideous
Like something the grave rejected in disgust
I hope you nod your head and smile
Because if a girl like me
Who doesn’t have an ipod
Or a pretty nose
Or a cute butt
Can find a reason to grin
Before 8 in the morning
Than I challenge you to, too.

Sunday BBQ

The Burbank Redemption

"I'm innocent I tell ya!!!"

"I wanna see the warden!"


Cooper the Kid.

Mommy's little outlaw.

Here he is in "Mid-Raspberry."
He's a rebel without a nap.

9 Months

A thousand pardons for the recent lack of bloggings. My beautiful IMac decided to take this time to poop out on me. It's at the Apple Store as we speak. I feel like I'm missing a limb without it. Let's hope it only needs minor surgery. I'm posting from my husband's computer.

Today Cooper turned 9 months old! Yes. That's right. 9 MONTHS!! He's been outside of me just as long as he was inside of me. We celebrated the day with...(drum roll please!)Grampa Joe!

My father arrived in California this week. Cooper was a little unsure about this loveable giant, but now they are inseparable. We took a trip down to Island Burger for some tropical eats and drinkies, then we headed off to the beach.

My dad has decided to go by, "Pepere," (pronounced "Pep - Ay") since it's easier to say and he wants to be the very next word that Cooper utters. Palm trees, sunshine and the sweetest little boy in the whole world.

I have to say, it was a good day.

For more new photos, Click here to visit Flickr.

Found Art

As I waited in the '10 items or less' express line, I spotted this grocery list nestled among the tabloids.

I picked it up and showed it to Jakob.

"Look," I said smiling, "She got ice cream AND cake! She IS the world's greatest mom."

"And she got grapes," he laughed back, "To feed to her husband, so she's the world's greatest wife, too."

Sometimes my husband is suck a dink.


Last weekend we roasted Jakob for his 30th birthday. Sorry I haven't posted until now. I was still recovering from all the "drunk" jokes thrown my way. That, and I was hung-over.

I made little party hats with Jakob's wide-eyed face on them. They were a hit.

I also made paper beards on sticks as party favors. Here's my friend Giza re-enacting the Brittany Spears crotch shot:

We had a banner and a cake that said, "Happy Birthday Jackass." This prompted the restaurant hostess to ask, "The guy knows it's a roast, right?" "Oh, yes," I said, "He wants us to make fun of him. It's his birthday gift!"

Ryan Gantz started the evening off right, followed by Chris Dorff, Edy Kowalska, Alex Bakalarz, Karen Stein, Lizzy Cooperman and Andrew Wollman. Everybody rocked the show.

Some of my fave jokes...

"If I had a nickel for every time Nicole interrupted Jakob...I'd buy a gun and shoot myself in the head." -Ryan Gantz

"Nicole's such an alcoholic that she lactates White Russians." - Chris Dorff

"I know Jakob works in ethics and with computers, but I've never been sure what the heck he does. I just know that it has nothing to do with fantasy football because he sucks at that!" - Edy Kowalska

"Long ago in a galaxy far, far away...I just said that to see Wollman get a chubby during the roast." - Alex Bakalarz

"There are only 4 Jews here including me? What kind of a roast is this?" -Karen Stein

"I never knew conversations had intermissions until I met Jakob." - Lizzy Cooperman

"Did Nicole and Jakob know they named their kid after a fragrance...C.K. White." - Andrew Wollman

"When Jakob was younger, thinner and had no facial hair, we used to do romantic roleplaying like, "Doctor and Nurse," or " Casting Director and Actress." Now with his growing gut and the beard, our bedroom games have names like, "Drunken Carnival Worker" and "Amber Alert". - Nicole Charbonneau White (That's one of my 'tame' jokes.)

"Edy and Alex are engaged, so we’ll see a Polish Blonde get married to a Colombian Jew and hopefully one day, give birth, to...a punchline." -Jakob White

Jakob's counter-roast was spectacular. At the end of the night he thanked me for giving him the perfect birthday present: a drunk, happy, warmed-up crowd to perform for and succeed in front of.

I'm glad you had a good time, Jakob. You're my favorite. You still make me laugh.

For even more photos, click here to visit Flickr.