Roasted

Last weekend we roasted Jakob for his 30th birthday. Sorry I haven't posted until now. I was still recovering from all the "drunk" jokes thrown my way. That, and I was hung-over.



I made little party hats with Jakob's wide-eyed face on them. They were a hit.



I also made paper beards on sticks as party favors. Here's my friend Giza re-enacting the Brittany Spears crotch shot:



We had a banner and a cake that said, "Happy Birthday Jackass." This prompted the restaurant hostess to ask, "The guy knows it's a roast, right?" "Oh, yes," I said, "He wants us to make fun of him. It's his birthday gift!"



Ryan Gantz started the evening off right, followed by Chris Dorff, Edy Kowalska, Alex Bakalarz, Karen Stein, Lizzy Cooperman and Andrew Wollman. Everybody rocked the show.



Some of my fave jokes...

"If I had a nickel for every time Nicole interrupted Jakob...I'd buy a gun and shoot myself in the head." -Ryan Gantz

"Nicole's such an alcoholic that she lactates White Russians." - Chris Dorff

"I know Jakob works in ethics and with computers, but I've never been sure what the heck he does. I just know that it has nothing to do with fantasy football because he sucks at that!" - Edy Kowalska



"Long ago in a galaxy far, far away...I just said that to see Wollman get a chubby during the roast." - Alex Bakalarz

"There are only 4 Jews here including me? What kind of a roast is this?" -Karen Stein

"I never knew conversations had intermissions until I met Jakob." - Lizzy Cooperman



"Did Nicole and Jakob know they named their kid after a fragrance...C.K. White." - Andrew Wollman

"When Jakob was younger, thinner and had no facial hair, we used to do romantic roleplaying like, "Doctor and Nurse," or " Casting Director and Actress." Now with his growing gut and the beard, our bedroom games have names like, "Drunken Carnival Worker" and "Amber Alert". - Nicole Charbonneau White (That's one of my 'tame' jokes.)

"Edy and Alex are engaged, so we’ll see a Polish Blonde get married to a Colombian Jew and hopefully one day, give birth, to...a punchline." -Jakob White



Jakob's counter-roast was spectacular. At the end of the night he thanked me for giving him the perfect birthday present: a drunk, happy, warmed-up crowd to perform for and succeed in front of.



I'm glad you had a good time, Jakob. You're my favorite. You still make me laugh.

For even more photos, click here to visit Flickr.